Sister Jaime
| Special = | Introducing = | and = | Appearance = | Also = | Co = | With = | Uncredited = Bishop Parriott | Uncertain = | Producer = Kenneth Johnson | Writer = Kenneth Johnson | Teleplay = | Story = | Director = Alan J. Levi | Production = 45429 | Original = 24 November 1976 | Prev = Black Magic | Next = The Vega Influence | Related = }} Disguised as a nun, Jaime Sommers visits a convent winery to uncover an international smuggling ring. Summary Marlene Stoler, a courier posing as a nun, is apprehended by the OSI as she attempts to transport special industrial diamonds worth three-quarters of a million dollars. Jaime Sommers is assigned to take her place, going undercover as a nun in order to apprehend Stoler's contact. Jaime arrives at the convent, where she is greeted by a very grim group of nuns, and is informed by the Mother Superior that misbehavior of any kind will not be tolerated. Sister Jaime learns that the Reverend Mother has recently become uptight and protective of the winery where they produce sherry bottled under the label of Convent Gardens. In her room, Jaime is slipped a note that instructs her to go to confession. In the confessional, Jaime is forced to give the diamonds to the contact before she can identify him as anything other than an impostor dressed as a priest. While tilling the garden, Jaime is able to sneak into the winery and finds a barrel of heroin. She informs Oscar Goldman that she has identified the contact as Father Thomas, as well as her suspicions about the Mother Superior and Bishop Parriott. Returning back to the winery to investigate further, Jaime happens upon a secret room used to package the heroin and stolen diamonds. The Mother Superior overhears and rushes to pray in the chapel. Jaime follows her and offers comfort, learning that the Bishop may use the scandal to dissolve the convent. Gathering the sisters, Jaime develops a plan to detain the police and lure the smugglers off the property before the Bishop arrives. Both the front and back gates are blocked, ensuring the government agents cannot enter the convent property. The criminals soon discover the missing drugs and diamonds are on a truck driven by the nuns. Chasing the sisters off the property, the smugglers are intercepted by the government in time for the Bishop's arrival. Deconstructed Quotes Oscar: The contact may take place on the bus that she was supposed to get on, or en route, or maybe even inside the convent. Jaime: Inside the con ...? Oh, Oscar... I don't know if I can carry this off that far! I mean... Oscar: You're gonna do fine, I told you. You're just what every convent needs... a bionic nun. Jaime: Oh... God help me. ---- Sister Beverly: Some portions of God's work are most certainly a drag. Jaime: "A drag?" Sister Beverly: Oh! Forgive me. I taught high school in the Archdiocese before I came here, and I'm afraid some of my students' more colorful colloquialisms have transferred themselves onto me. Jaime: Well, I also taught high school, so, uh, I can dig it. ---- Oscar: What's the bad news? Jaime: I... uh... lost the diamonds. Oscar: You what?! Jaime: I lost the diamonds, Oscar. Well, you see, the guy contacted me, and I had to give 'em to him. Oscar: But you saw who he was. Jaime: (reluctantly) No... Oscar: Jaime, the whole idea was that... Jaime: I know, Oscar, but it was dark in there, and I feel terrible about it too... but... uh... well, I do know something. I'm not the only impostor around here. He was dressed as a priest. And also, you know, the Mother Superior has been acting very, very strange. Oscar: What do you mean? Jaime: I don't really know what it is, but she's so tense, and she's extremely protective of... of the winery that they operate here. Oscar: You think that the... uh... winery might have something to do with this? Jaime: Well, it's a good bet, and I'm definitely going to check it out... (beat) Oscar? Hello? You there? Oscar: Huh? Oh, yes... yes, I'm here, Jaime. I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to explain to The Secretary and the Budget Department how we lost three-quarters of a million dollars worth of secret OSI diamonds. Jaime: (grimacing) Well, Oscar, I... I think we'll find your diamonds; now you're just gonna hafta have a little more faith. ---- Sister Margo: (an exclamation of surprise in Latin) Sister Beverly: Were you working with Sister Jaime? Sister Margo: Yes. Sister Beverly: Sister Margo, do we have any books on... miracles? ---- Jaime: (tastes the heroin from a wine cask) Whoa... talk about the "flying nun". ---- Mother Superior: A scandal like this is just the kind of thing the Bishop is looking for as an excuse to take the winery away from us and dissolve this convent. Jaime: Why? Mother Superior: Because he's the biggest male chauvinist that ever lived. It has always annoyed him that the sisters and I did a better job of running the winery than the monks that ran it before. ---- Jaime: (upset) Ah, it's no fair hiding the heroin! ---- Oscar: I'm sorry, ma'm, but you're gonna have to get the flock outta here. Sister Barbara: Patience, sir, this one's giving birth to a lamb. Oscar: Eh, this is police business, ma'm.(holds up his badge) Sister Barbara: God's business comes first. ---- Mother Superior: I have seen the miraculous gifts which God has bestowed upon you, my child. I pray that you shall always use them wisely. Jaime: I try to, Mother Superior, I really do. Trivia Characters * Jaime's Snow White-related code name this episode is "Bashful." Amusingly, when Lindsay Wagner first uses the name she impersonates the voice of the Disney cartoon character. * The actor that appears in this episode as Bishop Parriott is uncredited. However, Bishop Parriott is likely named after James D. Parriott, a writer for the series. * At no point in the episode is Jaime ever seen out of disguise, even after the mission is over and she no longer needs to wear the habit. Original Airdate * In a clever bit of continuity, the date on the Bishop's watch reads "24", the same date this episode aired: November 24, 1976. Bionics * The episode vividly illustrates how Jaime's bionic ear is not "on" constantly and she must will it to work; when she explores the winery at night, she fails to hear the Mother Superior following her from a close distance away. Gaffes Continuity * During the sequence where Jaime Sommers and the nuns are leading the bad guys on a merry chase across the convent grounds, Lindsay Wagner is shown wearing only the wimple (the white head covering that goes underneath the habit), then in the next scene is wearing the habit again. Dialogue * Oscar Goldman very clearly calls the fake nun at the beginning of the episode "Merlene", but the credit for the character is listed as "Marlene" Stoler. Later, when Jaime Sommers is in the confessional, Father Thomas calls her "Merlene", thinking she is the original fake nun. Nitpicks * The way the bad guys are arrested, with heroin in the back seats of their cars, is clearly entrapment. * Jaime identifies the heroin by tasting it. Although a very common cop-show cliche, especially in the 1970s, doing so in real life is considered a very bad idea as a) one could be poisoned and b) it may show up on a drug test (though the latter wasn't yet commonplace in the era of Bionic Woman). Gallery Image:nun_chalktalk.jpg|Sister "chalk talk" Image:caddy_lift.jpg|Bionic lift Image:Sheep.jpg|Get the flock out of here! Sister Jaime - Mother Superior.jpg 208